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Download Searching the Heart: Women, Men, and Romantic Love in by Karen Lystra PDF

By Karen Lystra

ISBN-10: 0195074769

ISBN-13: 9780195074765

In January 1862, Charles Godwin courted Harriet Russell, finally unsuccessfully, with the subsequent traces: ''Like cadences of inexpressibly candy tune, your variety phrases got here to me: inflicting each nerve to vibrate as if electrified via a few remote pressure of heavenly harmony.'' virtually ten years later, Albert Janin, upon receiving a letter from his liked Violet Blair, spoke back with, ''I kissed your letter again and again, whatever the small-pox epidemic at ny, and gave myself as much as a carnival of bliss prior to breaking the envelope.'' And in October 1883, Dorothea Lummis wrote candidly to her husband Charles, ''I such as you to wish me, pricey, and if I have been basically with you, i'd include greater than the again of your neck, be sure.'' In Karen Lystra's richly provocative e-book, Searching the Heart, we listen the voices of Charles, Albert, Dorothea, and approximately 100 different nineteenth-century americans emerge from their strangely open, intimate, and emotional love letters. whereas historians of nineteenth-century the USA have explored a bunch of personal subject matters, together with courtship, marriage, contraception, sexuality, and intercourse roles, they've got continually overlooked the examine of romantic love. Lystra fills this hole by way of describing in bright element what it intended to fall in love in Victorian the United States. according to an enormous array of affection letters, the booklet unearths the life of a true openness--even playfulness--between female and male fans which demanding situations and expands extra conventional perspectives of middle-class inner most existence in Victorian the USA. Lystra refutes the typical trust that Victorian women and men held passionlessness as an excellent of their romantic relationships. allowing us to go into the hidden global of Victorian fanatics, the letters they left at the back of supply actual evidence of the depth in their such a lot deepest interactions, emotions, behaviors, and judgments. Lystra discusses how Victorians anthropomorphized love letters, treating them as real visits from their fanatics, insisting on interpreting them in seclusion, occasionally kissing them (as Albert does with Violet's), or even taking them to mattress. She additionally explores how courtship rituals--which incorporated the atmosphere and passing of exams of love--succeeded in construction special, emotional bonds among fans, and the way middle-class perspectives of romantic love, which inspired sharing wisdom and intimacy, gave ladies extra strength in the house. in the course of the medium of affection letters, Searching the Heart permits us to go into, left out, the Victorian bed room and parlor. we'll go away with a special view of middle-class Victorian the US.

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Additional info for Searching the Heart: Women, Men, and Romantic Love in Nineteenth-Century America

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This was also true of the nineteenth-century concept of romantic love. The special aura of private communication, the heightened meaning '7 Searching the Heart of love itself resided in the contrast of public and private styles enforced by middle-class etiquette. Privacy was essential to nineteenth-century middleclass romantic love because the meaning of love was so deeply rooted in acts of protected and exclusive self-revelation. 34 But, for self-revelation to assume a special meaning, one must withhold responses from the world.

This is but a scrawling letter," Nathaniel Wheeler wrote Clara Bradley, "but it is 'me' and what is the use of having friends if one cannot be careless with them, a doctrine you may think I've practiced before. "™ Later, Nathaniel even quoted an unflattering journal entry in which he preserved reactions to his first courtship call on Clara: " 'I told her things of my inner experience that but one other ear ever heard. Strange that I should be honest, and to her. But really she showed more appreciation than I had thought possible, and more brains than her reputation gives her credit for .

Mary reacted sharply when Samuel erected a barrier to their communication. 28 Mary criticized what she considered his arbitrary and insensitive act of censorship. " 29 For Mary, being "one" with Samuel demanded complete self-disclosure; anything less was a harbinger of disaster for their relationship. Nineteenth-century middle-class couples, under the influence of romantic love, were obsessed with eliminating any barriers of communication between themselves. Self-revelation in American middle-class culture had already become a far-reaching measure of intimacy and truth as well as the essence of the conventions that defined the romantic self.

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